She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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