The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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