I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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