Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
