You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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