Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
