hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
its not stalking. its research.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
