I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
