I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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