I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize