I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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