Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
