I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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