Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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