Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
