she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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