2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
