As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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