It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
