so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
