Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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