I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
