So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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