I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
