Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
