Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize