i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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