He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
