everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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