how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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