Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
