he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
