You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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