My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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