Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I love having hate sex.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
