just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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