Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize