she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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