i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
