we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
