Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
