Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
