I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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