Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
