Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
