NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
