I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
