So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
