Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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