Don't you send me to vm
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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