my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
