; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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