It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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