she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
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I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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