Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
