dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
