Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
