Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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